where's Mr. Cosby when you need him?!

Kids say the darndest things! I always mean to write these down and usually I forget. But this summer, I've been keeping up much better.

Emma: "Jacob got naked in his room, and I do NOT want to go to his naked party."

Emma: (when the neighbors cleaned out the median) "They're tearing DOWN the rain forest!!"

Emma: "I have a secret boyfriend. When the girls say he's their boyfriend, he gets mad, and that means he's not really their boyfriend. When I say it, he doesn't get mad so that means he really is my boyfriend."

Jacob: "Mommy, did you like our magic show?...Then that'll be 20 BUCKS!"

Jacob: "I found some cheese in my room, feel it!"

Emma: "there's juice in my shoe"

Jacob: "Emma sneezed on my whole body!"

Grandma: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Emma: "A doctor"
Grandma:" what kind of doctor?"
Emma:"Surgery"....."How do you do surgery?"

Me: "how do I look?"
Emma: (and I promise this N. Dynamite quote came out of her own memory!) "I like your sleeves they're real big....thanks, I made 'em myself."

Jacob:" mom, how many seconds is in 3 minutes?"
me: "180"
Jacob: (and without much of a pause) "if you count to 60, 180 times...you'll have 3 hours."
me:...............
(after much calculation, he's right! That's how many seconds are in 3 hours.....math is not my strong point...)

Jacob had a friend over the other day.
Friend: "I have $12.77 at home."
Jacob: lies "Well, I have about 100!"
Friend: eyes wide and not believing Jacob, "You would be the president!"

Jacob: "Why do kids love mommies the most? I know, it's because we were in your belly so long."

Emma: "I'm going to be rich!"

Emma: (when I was coming into her room.) "Mommy, this is where you sign in."